What is the secret to lasting love? Is it the grand gestures? Or the PDAs? Well, those are definitely nice, but a healthy relationship needs more than that to flourish. Science has long tried to decode the secret to enduring romantic relationships, and they have finally cracked the code. No, it’s not the grand gestures or dramatic declarations. But something far simpler, something you can do every single day without even planning it! Researchers from Pennsylvania State University, U.S., found that performing small, everyday acts of love boosts feelings of being loved, which is an important factor in overall happiness and well-being! The findings are published in PLOS.
When you express, you feel more loved
Zita Oravecz and colleagues found that when people express love, they feel more loved. Their study revealed that expressing love may lead to increased feelings of being loved. This may have downstream effects on people’s senses of fulfillment and well-being. Though most of us think love is about grand gestures, it really isn’t. To understand how expressing love impacts relationships, the researchers conducted a study where they drew data from a survey that tracked feelings and acts of love over time. They noticed that more often, people experience love as smaller and more regular acts. This is the basis of a psychological theory called ‘positivity resonance’. This theory explains how the small, everyday acts of love create and strengthen connections. These actions are divided into two categories: giving love and receiving love. The researchers explored how these types of love influence each other over time.The study involved 52 participants. Over a period of four weeks, the participants received prompts sent six times a day, asking about their experiences of love in that moment. They were asked to respond on a scale of 0 to 100 for each question. These included how much they felt loved and how much they expressed love since the last survey. The responses were analysed.
Why expressing matters
The researchers found that when participants express love, they then tend to feel more loved themselves. On the other hand, people who received love were not more likely to then express love. The researchers stressed that the feeling of being loved persisted longer than feelings of expressing love. This itself suggests how people can benefit from expressing love. It is also linked with improved psychological well-being and health. The participants’ general happiness was also surveyed. Participants who felt loved were more likely to rate themselves as flourishing.These findings point to something solid. Express love, and that’s how you feel more loved. “Let’s spread more love in the world by expressing love throughout our daily lives,” the authors said. So, what are you waiting for? Tell your partner how much you adore them. Kiss them unexpectedly. Hug them. Every day, small acts of love are better than occasional grand gestures.
