Burnout is often associated with demanding careers, long work hours, or the constant pressure to succeed. But sometimes the roots of burnout begin much earlier. Is there a certain type of person who’s likely to feel burnt out in life earlier than others? The answer is yes, and for many families, such a person is likely closer than they think. Recently, Brooke Taylor, a career coach, was asked the same question during a podcast: “What type of person is likely to burn out before the age of 35?” Her answer pointed towards a pattern many parents may recognise: the child who grew up being “too responsible” too soon. “It’s the firstborn daughter who has two or more siblings,” says the career coach. She adds that a person who grew up being the parentified child grows up into an adult who takes responsibility for things that aren’t hers to own, and so, she’s gonna burn out faster.
6 May 2026 | 16:50
What according to you is the right age for children to start taking tuitions?
The career coach’s idea connects with a psychological phenomenon called the eldest daughter syndrome.
What exactly is the eldest daughter syndrome
The idea behind this syndrome is the parentification of children who take responsibilities beyond their age. Parentification research, including one published in BMC Psychology suggests these early roles can influence emotional wellbeing, relationships and burnout risk later in life. While “eldest daughter syndrome” is not an official psychological diagnosis, the term is often used to describe experiences that overlap with parentification, especially among firstborn daughters who may feel pressure to care for others before themselves.
What makes the eldest daughters become this way
In 2025, a University of California, Los Angeles-led research team found that in certain instances, first-born daughters tend to mature earlier, enabling them to help their mother rear younger siblings.Specifically, the researchers found a correlation between early signs of adrenal puberty in first-born daughters and their mothers having experienced high levels of prenatal stress.
But why does it matter?
Adrenal puberty doesn’t just bring changes in the body, but also in brain development, the UCLA study notes. More importantly, the researchers did not find the same result in boys or daughters who were not first-born.
Why parents should not parentify a child
A child who grows up listening “you’re the responsible one!” or “take care of your little siblings” becomes the individual who handles more than they should at a young age. A child learning responsibility is healthy, but a child who’s handling responsibilities beyond their age can have long-term effects. This is why parents should refrain from repeatedly placing their child in an adult-like role, especially the eldest one. Over time, the burden affects them emotionally, and as experts say such patterns may increase the risk of emotional exhaustion and burnout later in life
How parents can break this cycle
The goal is not to stop children from being helpful or responsible, these qualities can become strengths when they develop in a healthy way. The key is making sure that children are not carrying responsibilities that belong to adults.
Parents can help by:
- Giving children age-appropriate responsibilities instead of making them the “second parent.”
- Avoiding phrases that make a child feel responsible for the entire family, like “everyone depends on you.”
- Letting older siblings help without making them solely responsible for younger ones.
