It is that oddly familiar dynamic where someone does not fully choose you, but also refuses to let you go. You are not in a relationship, but you are definitely not free either. It is a grey area, and it thrives on confusion.
Like imagine, they are not ready to be with you, but they still want you. Typical situationship right? But wait with seagulling, it gets worse!
Image credit : X | There is also a subtle possessiveness at play, where their presence quietly blocks other people from entering your life.
What even is seagulling?
The name comes from seagulls, birds known for swooping in, grabbing what they want, and hovering around even when they do not need it.
In dating, seagulling looks like someone who has no real intention of building something meaningful, yet keeps circling back. They text just enough, appear at the right moments, and maintain a presence that feels significant, but never solid.
It is attention without intention.
The subtle signs you are being seagulled
The tricky part is that seagulling is not loud. It is not dramatic ghosting or obvious rejection.
It is the “I will reply, but not consistently.”
It is the “I miss you” with zero follow-through.
It is someone acting slightly territorial, while refusing to define anything.
Sometimes, it even shows up post-breakup. The connection is over, but the person lingers, making sure you never fully move on.
Why it feels so draining
At its core, seagulling is about control disguised as connection. The other person gets companionship, validation, and emotional access, without offering stability or clarity in return.
Image credit : X | It is that oddly familiar dynamic where someone does not fully choose you, but also refuses to let you go.
This creates a one-sided dynamic where you stay invested, hoping it will turn into something real, while they keep things deliberately vague. There is also a subtle possessiveness at play, where their presence quietly blocks other people from entering your life.
The new situationship, but worse
If situationships were confusing, seagulling is calculated confusion.
It is not just about avoiding labels. It is about keeping you emotionally available without ever committing. And that is why it hits harder.
Because sometimes, the realisation is not that things ended, it is that they never truly began.
